Between them and me

It might sound insane and stupid, call it being immature but that's the way I am. I always say, in my life entry could be easy but exit is very difficult.

Long time my sister advised me not to get close to anyone cause when you get close you also give them right to hurt you, so maintain some distance so tat indifference doesn't matter much. True.. Very true.. I follow this, I was happy but as human we all seek for someone close, someone who cares for you when you away from home, someone who dines with you and wish you good night. Rd has very limited friends he can count them on his fingers. Though he's frank he doesn't get close to people easily.. Well I love to be with loads of friends. I have very good friends and some just friends. Distance and time doesn't matter to me much. But I’ve seen friendship changing with time and distance and it is a fact we all know as we all have gone through this stage. We've to accept it. Some People are meant to come in life to make some changes in us and they leave us with change in us and we are never the same. A close friend of mine went out of contact cause of distance. I tried best from my side but when the other side is busy I can't play any role and I think I shouldn't interfere too.. Once again I fwd a mess to her which said “you can always lean on me.” She replied saying “I really need you to lean on, as life is not going good, I miss you.” I was happy I at least lent me shoulder on time... Happy moments.. Leaves you with memories.. Again I think of our past days.. My eyes fills and I tell to myself.. Move on

Another close friend ditched me for no reason. It’s weird how you can't read out what’s in mind and how beautifully at times we judge a person in one meeting. To a great deal we are right but persistently first impression isn't the last impression. I'm still not over with the break up with this friend cause everything reminds me of him.. I couldn't even sleep properly and I never wanted to talk about it to anyone.. Especially to People I know. One thing good about blogs are you share secret and secret is kept, it doesn't affect the reader much as it is impersonal but in some way it is nice. There are some things I want to share in this blog but then I regret I gave this link to some of my friends..

Its weird my feeling are read my People I don't know in real, never met. Happy that they look fwd to my post, ask me about my progress and miss me when I don't post for some time. The weird part is my friends know the link too, but it doesn't matter to them, it matters more to unknown blogger. May be for the reason that everyone does not appreciate expression, many do not have time to read and not even habituated to check out blogs as we all do. Not much of online reader, some People read only when we write about them, especially happen in group mail thing like yahoo group and Gmail group e mail.

When I hate someone I can’t even stand his/her name been taken. Now this friend with whom I broke up is out of my list. Yes I’m glad it happened as that guy would have hurt me more lately. In any relation one side communication leads nowhere. I don’t know why people make friends when they can’t handle friendship.

There was a time (before I Met RD) when I was very reluctant to make guy friends. Might be a co-incident that all my good guy friends proposed me at the end and I disconnect from them as a whole. I was never in favour of relationship considering my family’s mindset. I don’t know what’s with guys that if you get close to them they start looking ahead for even more. I have few guys friends thank god it’s pretty clear to them what I am up to as they all know I’m very much committed. If I was single I might be having a difficult time. Guys these days don’t even bother if the other friend is committed or not. Some stays clear out of boundary and some try to cross and loose me forever. I wish HUM aur TUM ke beech main Dosti Rahati..(reminds me of a scene from Hum Tum)

That looser, bloody.. I hate him... I hate him .. I hate him..

Once I thought he might be drunk to talk to me when he said he could lose me to watch a movie, ok ok .. let me tell you what exactly happen. Lets name the guy X. We both are (awww I forgot we both were) pretty close friend. We manage to talk once or twice in 15 days. We used to work for same process. It was about one and half year since we were friends. I was online and so was he. Chat went something like this..

I - can we have a small chat.. ??

X- I’ll talk to you later.

I – why what happen?

X- I m not in my best mood.

(I thought something wrong might have happened.)

I - what is it about??

X - nothing much I’ve to catch up with a movie.

I – it’s been long since we spoke so talk to me now or never.

X- fine

I – is it fine with you??

X – Yes.

I - I think you didn’t read the line correctly

X- I read it, now that I have lost you, can I carry on with my movie ...???

I – you losing me for a movie ??

X – yes, can I watch my movie now, I don’t get to watch it every day ..

Imagine. ????? I was so speechless. I didn’t have any words, I was shocked. I didn’t say anything. I immediately logged out. React to this guy, Guys !!!! Help me..

I always thought once you are into any relation its both sided so decision should be also taken after talking about the matter. I think if I want to break up with someone I’ll give a reason, I’ll wait for him to understand the reason so that we both can come in some terms. When relations are made together even decision should be made together. One has no right to take decision for other... though I can tell myself things happen for good but as I told you in beginning.. in my life entry is easy but exit is difficult.

P.S. Sorry Harshita I can’t abuse this guy.. Words don’t come easy...

Reading a fwd message which goes like this ..

I hide my tears when I say your Name,

But the Pain in My Heart is still the same,

Although I smile and seem Carefree,

There No one who Misses you more Than Me..