Words of Encouragement

The road of to healing is long
the process if very slow
how far to get over there
is something you don’t know

but one thing for sure, learn on your own
how to fight and grow and get strong
you see people for what they are
and know who are true and those who are scarce

the ones you thought close are the ones who turn their back
and ones you didn’t think to be there are the ones holding you up
things have gone bad but sometimes the hard way is how you learn
it doesn’t have to be your past that brought this upon you
might just be a way to show you never to take things for granted

past is past no use dwelling on what’s gone
future is what you can make of what is lost
all is in your hand you have to choose your way
coz memories are what you make of them
and you can make new one each day

bad things happen to all
and sometimes you don’t deserve it
but think of it as a way of GOD
and this is to test how you serve him
help yourself and he will be your guide
but if only you stay to curse him and you’ll feel empty inside

nothing I do can change what has happened
only words of encouragement I can give to help you go on
you have gotten this far and it’s amazing in every way
I just pray to god that he helps you get by each day
and help you to regain your strength and see the positive side
and stand back on your feet and be on your way..

Thanks Fee for such a wonderful write up. You truly know what I am going through, you understand what’s suffering and always there by my side to encourage me. Thanks so much, Abhinav your comments were some surprising lines. For people who didn't comment on my previous post- I know u love me, I am your sweet addiction.. simply irresistible.

Life gets busy and so we also get so much involved with daily work that we dont have time to keep up with other things (probably less interesting and below the priority list)

Still you can always find me here.

XOXO

Escape..

Please do not go ahead if u dont want to read something that can be heavy for you

Cuz this post might change the direction of U to inverted U on your face. Later Dont blame me that I didn’t alert.

These are the thoughts that I have every now and then and probably comes in my mind more often maybe cause I have to visit the same place again and again and go through what I went through already in my past.

Why are memories so fresh?
Why can't I sleep without thinking of all those sudden twists in my life?
What if I knew what was going to happen,
What difference would it have made?

Why can't I forget what’s gone
Why do I treasure that's not worth a recall?
What if those angels were not there?
How would I be back on the track?

Why do I think so hard what would they have done for that ten hours of operation
Who would be outside the OPD, waiting long, filling forms, checking for updates.
I can't help thinking of those teary eyes and joint hands of my parents in prayers.
My sister in far away land, waiting for phone calls and praying to god.

Those nurses who took care of me day and night.
Those other scary patients in ICU who would anytime die.
Why did I deserve all this?
What wrong had I done in my past life

P.S. Right now all is fine. No need to convince me in any thing.. I m happy, I m fine.

So many things to say..

Finally i got songs of My name is Khan, Karthik calling karthik and Ishqiya On my Itune :D

I

I wonder why is it KartHik? Another Southie name?? Shouldn’t it be Kartik (rolling eyes)

Ok as for updates all of you must be already knowing that I had a surgery some days back. If not you should know about Dear Me. Click here for details.

Thank God I am discharged from the hospital. Karti bhi kya waha, No handsome Doctor, Not even Pretty Nurse to eye on :-w (Jumps, Ouch I forgot I am not suppose to Jump :P)

Hospital food was so bad that my mom preferred eating Lays and Goodday Biscuits for lunch .

One fine Morning the sister came to gimme sponge bath, I requested her to gimme head bath too as I can;t stand oily hair. She had great difficulty giving me head bath, still she should be thankful cause as a patient I was so corporative. So damn corporative that at the end she poured one cold mug water on my hair and I screamed at her.

I am good at it. Ask me to call a person to take his/her class .. You see How I do :P

I finally blocked Farmville from FB (yes yes I used to play that but I m saturated)

And Don Mangal (Mafia) is dead too .. She is now become a zoo keeper :P (another game in FB)

I tried playing scrabble in FB but got bored cause in two player the other player takes too much time to respond.

I like UNO :P

I tried learning Poker too but I think Flash is interesting. 

Good time pass for some1 wella like me.

I am glad Chriz Wrote about Red Undie again :P I love Red Undies :P

He’s on the house gyaan says, we should wash our Undie nahi toh Dogs will compel you to buy new one. Why to waste money in buying a new one, rather lets wash it on time and save money and party :P Ek beer to bantahai. Cheers.

I feel bad that I forgot my Spanish nootbook back in Nepal :( I could have resume my class other wise.

Since B’lore is warm as usual my mom has been telling everyone on phone when she has conversation to someone in Nepal or Calcutta or Siliguri “yaha toh thand ekdum nahi hai, ekdum acha hai mausam”.

Ah I think I should come to B’lore every winter as I hate Winters.

The doctor in Hospital said that he had 10 cases of road accidents of people going or coming back from Nandi hill every month. I was astonished and so was mom. People know it’s Risky to ride in hill station when it is so God damn foggy, but still they don’t listen.

My hands still pains Cause of Injection. Thank God I am on tablets now :)

The doctor was highly satisfied with my operation. I hope to get well soon and dance Tip Tap Toe.. We’ll Party okie ??

Read further about How to know if a guy is cheating On Shit-For-Tat

Mads completed her Hundred Post!!!! Congrates.. Posto Nahao . Posto Falo ::P

 

What about Names??

New Year was fun. My childhood friend Shweta came for overnight stay. Didi, Shweta and I had Wine at night and wished each other New year. Even Stole dad’s JD :D

BTW my sis name is also Shweta :D too many Shweta-s I know.. Ya there is this weird thing about following the trend in names and people choose to name their kids accordingly. For eg : After kuch kuch hota hai, Rahul was so famous that every other person were naming their kids -- Rahul. My name was common too at that time, I am glad it was common only in my town though.

During attendance in school there were two Nidhi-s : Nidhi Sunil and Nidhi mangal (actually Agarwal). I had to change my surname cause as per the rule; my surname should match my Dad’s ID card. Mangal is our family-title (Gotra). Since childhood, our surname was written as Mangal. May be in this way blessings of Mangal pandey are showered upon us. But after class 10, I had to change it to Agarwal. Mangal is so unique :-w .  There are thousands of Agarwals/ Agrawals.

As a matter of fact, South Indians use their father name as their middle name and even as their last name. Eg.  Nidhi Sunil, Neha Shekhar (these two were actually two hot gals in my class) ahh no no I am straight, but I like admiring pretty gals. Cool ok.. there is nothing wrong in admiring hot girls.. after all it was girl’s school (Bishop Cotton girl’s school, Bangalore). Ladkiyaan hi Dekhti  :P Saheliya –na  !!!

There is one more thing  which is absurd about South Indians, the way they spell their name. It consists of superfluous alphabets during the end of first name. Eg. It’s NOT Deepti they spell it as Deepthi, Seetha instead of Seeta/sita, Ritha for Rita, shruthi for shruti.

Likewise in Nepal, Nepalese carry different accent in pronouncing ‘Sha’. Instead of Sha Nepalese pronounce is Sa. Eg they pronounce Ashish as Asish, Nidhi as Nidi. They also spell B as v. If they have to type bhayo, which means happens, they type Vhayo. Weird isn’t it?

Every language has their differentiation. This surely make them unique from others' name. I have heard Bengali accent. Earlier, I loved Bengali earlier but after staying for one year in Kolkata and having a roommate who only cribbed to her parents in Bengali, I can’t stand Bengali any more, sorry no offense to my Bengali readers.

Btw I love to hear Hyderabadi language. You don’t know how it sounds?? Run to Peter, he is awesome in it.

Urdu sounds so respectful, Love it. Punjabi oh Balle Balle!!!  My dad is big fan of both Punjabi as language and as well as Punjabis. What do you guys have to say about names and Surnames??

P.s I met Rd yesterday .. M so happy. We met after six months. This 26th Jan We’ll complete our Seven years :D He proposed me On Republic day :D

P.P.S – on 5th Jan i am flying to Bangalore Via Delhi. Wish me Luck.

He and me

Seven years back when we started with this relationship.Everything was so charming, wistful and incredible. We had long distance relationship for one year. This happened just when I agreed to get into a relationship. Everything has a way out and we surely had ours too, to get in touch. We overcame the distance with the weekend chats on internet. Come what may, we used to be online between 4 to 6. I was in hostel in B'lore then. All of us didn’t get outings. Sometimes I sneaked out, other times I added my name in exit form of others, many other times I even made up reasons like bank work, dentist check up (though I never visited one). The times we spent between 4 to 6 during weekends were the best days of our whole week. We used to die to see each other on cam. Later, when I used to recap the whole conversation in my mind, trying to read what he never said, recalling some of the  most romantic lines and then smile alone, happy, wandering absent minded.

I was least interested which girl friend of mine spoke to which guy, what happened in Boys school, who was wearing what for socials, what was the next assignment, when the dinner bell rang. I guess I had created a different world around me by then.

A call from him would be like a celebrity call. When he said my name I felt I was among those lakhs fans of Amitabh to get a personal signature on a piece of paper.

His cute face, innocent eyes, naughty, teasing smile had done all the magic and I was so crazy about him. I counted each day to pass by as soon as possible so that I would meet him again.

It was so difficult to get him on phone. We didn’t have mobile phones then (actually sounds like “Hamare jamane main” types). The fortunate day I got him on call I thought myself to be the luckiest girl for the day. Pura paisa wasool even though on ISD call :) Once I had called him, the next line he had said was "Thank God you called, I was so pissed because of my aunt. Now I will be all fine. I was so restless but now I found peace". I don’t know if he remembers he had told me so, but at that time and even today I think it is something that has a lot of significance.

Today when he called he was little pissed off. Some kinda Work pressure. I was waiting for his call since hours. He hardly spoke for 4 minutes and he hung up saying he had a bad mood and would prefer to be left alone. He is not a person who says so. Actually I am. When I am angry I choose to be alone, think about it for some time and forget it. No one on earth can console me when I have moodswings. I choose to be myself because at times you have to deal with your things and no one else can make it less (For him there is no word called I. I meant We, he and me). Knowing this side of me he was always there, ready to listen to 'Furious me', he being so 'calm and composed'. Today when I am still there, he chose to be alone. I don’t know why but it felt weird. Felt that the magic of 'my presence fading his sorrows' is fading away.

P.S - I know RD, it’s not like this.. maybe I am thinking too hard. I just felt like sharing.

I love you