Reading through Kindle

Now days I cannot collect patience to read blog on my laptop. I though don’t mind to read it on my kindle.  It’s one of the oldest versions of kindle that I own but I still love it as I love my old letters, way back but yet so close.

As we have “Pocket”  as and read it later extension in Chrome, it also has an app called kindle it which converts all the read it later file to kindle format and like Pocket it send the file in one click to my kindle. So awesome and so easy to read it there. Especially when I am lying down and want to want to drift apart from world, not read about the same old people on your FB list but to read some sensible post of dear bloggers.

Raaji I am trying to catch up with your post J

I thought blogvilla has died as many of my blogger friends have stopped blogging but it was amusing today to check that there are still some bloggers who updates their blog now and then.

Being apart from blog was when life was in full swing.  Especially when RD was around after marriage I never felt like writing as I used to share all my single thoughts with him. I still do. But I kind of feel the need of getting back to blog have been increasing. It may be because I want to be with myself and not matter with real people for some time but just me and my thoughts. 

Sleepless

It was one of those nights when I couldn't fall asleep.  From the frozen leg to the terrible head aches, reasons were adding up to my sleepless night which made things more difficult.  Only if he could have been home I would sleep in peace. The silence of the night, the water dropping sound from the tap and the ticking sound from the wall clock were adding to mess around with my mood. 

It was late, eleven at night and no sign of sleep but only increasing ache in my head. To idle away the time I decided to call a friend.  I spoke to him for couple of minutes and hung up.  People in Nepal sleep so early that I couldn't think of any other single soul to whom I could talk at such point of time. Tossing and turning in bed, I frisked for my laptop so that I could spend some more time chatting around but then I realised my laptop was gone.

It was one at night and I wanted to call my best friend. Being married I gave a second thought if it was alright to call a guy who is my best friend at such point of time. Marriage does weird thing, makes you matured and makes you act stupid too. Though my husband is very understanding and he understands how close I am with my friends no matter boy or girl, still the second thought emerged my mind and I decided to hang up when I heard a knock at the door.

“Who is it?” I asked. It was him.

Restless mind ~~

Its 3:35 AM and I am still not sleepy. Have to be in office my 8:30AM. I don’t know how I will manage. I am having another restless night with bombarding thoughts in my mind. I thought I should return to the cocoon (my blog) and find some peace by having words with myself and my fellow readers.

Finally my sister got engaged. It was a long wait but it happened for good. She isn’t much romantic type of person. These days I realised I too fall in that category. Actually I am romantic but I am not filmy romantic. I am more of logical and practical person who choose to express my feelings with words and gestures. I never know RD would be filmy romantic but believe me he is. It took me long time to realise. You know what I mean when any one say filmy romantic – building castle in Spain types, whim to be in Rome when you are actually in Singapore. But that's like the ideal hero. Don’t we like when Runbeer  (I can imagining him running to catch a can of beer and say my can :P)realises he is in love and does all the crazy things for Katreena in 'Ajab Prem ki Jajab Kahani'? Don’t we glee in every dialogs of 'Dil toh Pagal hai'?

Does being mature take you away from your flight to your fancy land?

I hope NOT!

He and me

Seven years back when we started with this relationship.Everything was so charming, wistful and incredible. We had long distance relationship for one year. This happened just when I agreed to get into a relationship. Everything has a way out and we surely had ours too, to get in touch. We overcame the distance with the weekend chats on internet. Come what may, we used to be online between 4 to 6. I was in hostel in B'lore then. All of us didn’t get outings. Sometimes I sneaked out, other times I added my name in exit form of others, many other times I even made up reasons like bank work, dentist check up (though I never visited one). The times we spent between 4 to 6 during weekends were the best days of our whole week. We used to die to see each other on cam. Later, when I used to recap the whole conversation in my mind, trying to read what he never said, recalling some of the  most romantic lines and then smile alone, happy, wandering absent minded.

I was least interested which girl friend of mine spoke to which guy, what happened in Boys school, who was wearing what for socials, what was the next assignment, when the dinner bell rang. I guess I had created a different world around me by then.

A call from him would be like a celebrity call. When he said my name I felt I was among those lakhs fans of Amitabh to get a personal signature on a piece of paper.

His cute face, innocent eyes, naughty, teasing smile had done all the magic and I was so crazy about him. I counted each day to pass by as soon as possible so that I would meet him again.

It was so difficult to get him on phone. We didn’t have mobile phones then (actually sounds like “Hamare jamane main” types). The fortunate day I got him on call I thought myself to be the luckiest girl for the day. Pura paisa wasool even though on ISD call :) Once I had called him, the next line he had said was "Thank God you called, I was so pissed because of my aunt. Now I will be all fine. I was so restless but now I found peace". I don’t know if he remembers he had told me so, but at that time and even today I think it is something that has a lot of significance.

Today when he called he was little pissed off. Some kinda Work pressure. I was waiting for his call since hours. He hardly spoke for 4 minutes and he hung up saying he had a bad mood and would prefer to be left alone. He is not a person who says so. Actually I am. When I am angry I choose to be alone, think about it for some time and forget it. No one on earth can console me when I have moodswings. I choose to be myself because at times you have to deal with your things and no one else can make it less (For him there is no word called I. I meant We, he and me). Knowing this side of me he was always there, ready to listen to 'Furious me', he being so 'calm and composed'. Today when I am still there, he chose to be alone. I don’t know why but it felt weird. Felt that the magic of 'my presence fading his sorrows' is fading away.

P.S - I know RD, it’s not like this.. maybe I am thinking too hard. I just felt like sharing.

I love you