Getting back to blog and little bit of being filmy

As I came back home, I rushed to search my laptop and reminded myself where I last saw it. Oh yes, it was in my work station.

The laptop was left untouched, with all the work related screens on and all the messengers on. I decided I need to get back to writing blog and to do that I had to shut down everything so that there is no distraction and the flow of my thoughts are not disturbed.

I had traveled to a nearby city and came back. It was a short travel but a long conversation with me in my head.  The unsaid words to the missed one, I said it all in my thoughts and made some terms with myself, pondered over it again and again. On the way I might have read fifteen blogs which I had saved it to read later on my kindle.

Series of topics came to me which I wanted to write down and I wondered how much I missed writing blog and why had I left it so untouched when there are so many topics I wanted to write about.

As I was travelling back in car, I felt RD head on my shoulder (generally he is not much of a sleeping person in car), I wanted to relish this moment so I kept him continue resting on my shoulder. I kept looking at him, wrapped his hands with mine and wanted to tell him how much I missed him (though he had been with me throughout) and how much he meant to me. Filmy that I am, as a matter of fact there is difference in real and reel life (your phrase I keep stealing.. sorry can’t help it), I felt pain slowing increasing in my shoulder. I wanted to place his heavy head somewhere else to  easy myself and reminded myself that I could not be so filmy to hold him like that for too long, I am a girl not a boy with masculine arms :P.  The pain became intolerable so I finally placed his head to the other side near the car’s door. I smiled to notice that we are not too away from home.

Lots more to write. To be continued..

Let her go.....

Well you only need the light when it's burning low 
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow 
Only know you love her when you let her go 
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low 
Only hate the road when you're missing home 
Only know you love her when you let her go 
And you let her go 

Staring at the bottom of your glass 
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last 
But dreams come slow and they go so fast 
You see her when you close your eyes 
Maybe one day you'll understand why 
Everything you touch surely dies 

Staring at the ceiling in the dark 
Same old empty feeling in your heart 
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast 
Well you see her when you fall asleep 
But never to touch and never to keep 
'Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep 

Well you only need the light when it's burning low 
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow 
Only know you love her when you let her go 
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low 
Only hate the road when you're missing home 
Only know you love her when you let her go 
And you let her go 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RBumgq5yVrA

Best Valentine Day..

Last night he had asked me to wake him up at 5:30 in the morning. I thought it was his general morning shift in his factory work. He didn’t call me after 11:30PM that night. I didn’t expect him to. It was a valentine day. A part of me felt it was a special day and other part of me felt it was just another normal day. Special day is when I am with him. I didn’t wish any of my friends yesterday night because I wanted him to be first one to wish me and vice a versa.

I got a call from him at 8:15 in the morning. It’s always good to hear his sleepy voice. 8 AM is my office time and I was prepared to work today. He said, “Come to dad’s room”. I was little surprise. I thought he was kidding. Next I heard Buddy barking, I heard mom saying RD was here. I opened my door and asked him to come to my room over phone. I hung up and went back to sleep thinking it was all a joke, probably a dream. He entered my room and kissed me good morning.

It felt so amazing. My room was stinking because of no ventilation and as a matter of fact he said I was stinking too. I quickly got up to brush my teeth and join him in my dad’s room with mom, dad, sister and my brother in law. I couldn’t helping looking at him and smiling, trying to digest the surprise.

Later we found ourselves a room to be alone. We were lying looking at each other, trying to catch some sleep in between (he woke up at 5AM to meet. It takes him around 2 hours to reach my place by car)

He was there just for two and half hours and all this while I was in cloud nine. We had breakfast together. He brought me chocolates and a card which said “Just cannot simply or with difficulty find or fill your space with another person. You are perfect, Love RD”

P.S.  TO RD-  I am glad you made my day. I love you so much. Now I can say my courtship period isn’t that boring ;)

To listen to love tracks click here

Finally ..

 

It’s been 8 years but butterflies in my stomach still exist. I still die to hear him say the golden words "I love you". The talks are getting longer every night. With each passing day the wait seems to be longer. It feels like time has stopped and even kicking the hands of clock won’t help.
We are getting engaged on 23rd November.
It will be a small function but a big step in our lives, two family union. I am so excited. In between RD had come to meet me. My mom introduces him to my Grand-Dad saying “ye aapka chota jawai hai” (this is your younger son-in-law). Grand Dad started with his small interview session and RD was patiently replying all the questions darted on him. Mom teased RD with best wishes for interview
After he left Grand Dad was so pleased to inform my Dad that he really liked RD. He said I am lucky to have such a handsome and good man and family. All is going good and I am dying to meet him again. He is been so busy these days but we end up talking most of the nights.
On the other hand my elder sister (Shweta Di) is getting married on 9th Dec. Dance practises are going on for Di’s wedding. RD and I are planning to perform a duet dance.
I left B’lore and now back home. It feels really great. I am enjoying yummy home food and feeling of being in family feels great with new add-on this time. Diwali was awesome. I was busy with Diya decoration. This time departing from B’lore wasn’t that excruciating because I was so excited for my sister’s wedding. Anil Sawan came to drop me in airport early morning. It was really sweet of him to come to airport directly from work.
Life is at its full fledge

Within herself

She kept telling to herself that today she would not let the tears pass through her cheeks, that she would be brave and matured enough to hold them in her eyes till the tear drops dried.

She said all that she could to express love.

After all this the boy could reply was that he was sleepy.

Went wasted, went unresponded, unreaction and no awwwwww baby.

Her heart felt a pang and she knew she was done. This heart is not so weak, she kept telling to herself. It’s ok she would talk to him the next day.

As the matter of fact, she is not easy with hiding feelings. Her eyes spoke, her voice spoke and he got to know she was angry, but he didn’t see it broke her heart too.

In life most of the things are unplanned.

Love

Its half past two and I'm not able to sleep. Its not cuz its usual me its cuz I didn't kiss you goodnight. I didn't hear your lazy voice saying my name like no one else can say. Its cuz you are far and I've been missing you so much and at times I hallucinate your presence. Its cuz your presence takes me different world and your smile makes my day.

Love you so much.

Looking back

I thought time has changed,
its time to rain ,
but the clouds fooled me.

I thought he was my best friends,
he came, he stayed
and today there is no more 'he-me'


I thought, like how I learnt
the river flows
and no one can stop

I thought the past is gone,
the memories are buried.
But it still shows off


I thought I came too far
I lost my way in between
but its still so easy to get back

I thought love ends
but it doesnt, it stays,
it is still easy to track

After a break

After a long time the story was repeated. When you are in love its always so exciting to tell others your love story. Every time I tell my love story I enjoy the flash back, never actually get bored or tired. It was one of the most exciting moments and its even more exciting to live in again when I narrate the story with so much passion.

My room mate has just completed her first year degree (B.A.) her BF stays just next door so most of the time she is out with him so we really dint spend much time together.The Girls next doors are pretty good. Now we kinda gelled but sad thing is their exams too got over and now they are too gone home for 2 mths. Hardly any one left in PG. Its gonna be boring. It used to be exciting to see them screaming for IPL, crazy watching Dil Mil Gaye... I will is them.

Yesterday "S" left at 4:30am for airport. I was awake with her. We had nice time chit chatting at night, she was busy packing and I was busy trying to study and bich ke saree gup shup I read out some of my old post to her and she really liked it. I am so happy but now she too is gone. In one way its good cuz I have exam in June and I need no distraction for that.

Bike rides are always fun but now it comes with some fear but I still try to enjoy. I have not able to be bindaas like before but still its nice :)

Reading old post some time can be so much fun, some of your favourite post brings back so many memories and smile :)

Bangalore is getting hotter!!! Damn!!!!

I wanna go to Hard Rock Cafe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish I can find some one to accompany me. :|

I havent been writing much these days. Its not like there is nothing to write but its just that nothing exciting is happening. These two months I have to prepare for exam and drop my CV for Job. Working out CV is another pain :|

Went shopping, got some cute tops (mads wait for pics ), needed black jeans and end but buying which wasnt actually black but kinda dark shade blackish, unfortunately blue!!! :-(

I love make-up and finally bought some good eyeshadow, bags... yooo shopping always makes me happy :)

On 1st April we had a get together, i know such a bad day for a get together and out of 11 friends , two didnt turn out thinking we are fooling them :| errrrrr Did u guys - gals got fooled this April fool???

To be in love

I wasn’t sure if he could make it on Vday to be with me. Every time he makes plan something or the other comes up and plans goes in “hold” mode. But this time it was destiny. Two love birds can’t be away from each other for long. He reached B'lore on 13th night.

Vday hasn’t been relatively an important day for us. May be it is important for someone who wants to propose or someone who is new to love. For someone who is already in love, every day is Vday. You don’t need a reason to express love. You don’t need “this day – that day” to show how much that person means to you. First year of relation is always exciting when you get to know so much about the person, no money problem (everything gets arranged somehow or the other) friends are there to help with needy things. Actually people around us get more excited about this new relation. As relation goes through more time span, problems and long distances it gets more matured, more understanding and that moment comes when you become inseparable (one soul).

He asked me, “What do you like in me?” I replied, “There is no one who can understand me better than you, you are extra caring, you can’t see tears in my eyes, you accept me the way I am, you can tolerate me, my anger and you forgive me for all my mistakes, you the other part of me”. He asked another question “what If I stop being like that, will you leave me?” I answered “of course not because now you are not just a person in my life you become part of me and no matter how the other part is I have to deal with .My better half indeed.”

It was amazing to spend time together. Three days he was at my place, three days I saw him first thing when I woke up. I can’t tell you, it feels so amazing to lie down on his lap and when he keeps playing with my hair, recalling past moments, trying to get naughty but mom was there so I had to be in control but he was just irresistible.

He is in same train traveling back home and he says he misses me cause we once have been together in same train traveling together.

He brought me a beautiful necklace and a pair of ear rings. I didn’t know what to get for him. I somehow managed to get his bunch of roses. To be in love feels so great. It’s the most amazing thing.

He and me

Seven years back when we started with this relationship.Everything was so charming, wistful and incredible. We had long distance relationship for one year. This happened just when I agreed to get into a relationship. Everything has a way out and we surely had ours too, to get in touch. We overcame the distance with the weekend chats on internet. Come what may, we used to be online between 4 to 6. I was in hostel in B'lore then. All of us didn’t get outings. Sometimes I sneaked out, other times I added my name in exit form of others, many other times I even made up reasons like bank work, dentist check up (though I never visited one). The times we spent between 4 to 6 during weekends were the best days of our whole week. We used to die to see each other on cam. Later, when I used to recap the whole conversation in my mind, trying to read what he never said, recalling some of the  most romantic lines and then smile alone, happy, wandering absent minded.

I was least interested which girl friend of mine spoke to which guy, what happened in Boys school, who was wearing what for socials, what was the next assignment, when the dinner bell rang. I guess I had created a different world around me by then.

A call from him would be like a celebrity call. When he said my name I felt I was among those lakhs fans of Amitabh to get a personal signature on a piece of paper.

His cute face, innocent eyes, naughty, teasing smile had done all the magic and I was so crazy about him. I counted each day to pass by as soon as possible so that I would meet him again.

It was so difficult to get him on phone. We didn’t have mobile phones then (actually sounds like “Hamare jamane main” types). The fortunate day I got him on call I thought myself to be the luckiest girl for the day. Pura paisa wasool even though on ISD call :) Once I had called him, the next line he had said was "Thank God you called, I was so pissed because of my aunt. Now I will be all fine. I was so restless but now I found peace". I don’t know if he remembers he had told me so, but at that time and even today I think it is something that has a lot of significance.

Today when he called he was little pissed off. Some kinda Work pressure. I was waiting for his call since hours. He hardly spoke for 4 minutes and he hung up saying he had a bad mood and would prefer to be left alone. He is not a person who says so. Actually I am. When I am angry I choose to be alone, think about it for some time and forget it. No one on earth can console me when I have moodswings. I choose to be myself because at times you have to deal with your things and no one else can make it less (For him there is no word called I. I meant We, he and me). Knowing this side of me he was always there, ready to listen to 'Furious me', he being so 'calm and composed'. Today when I am still there, he chose to be alone. I don’t know why but it felt weird. Felt that the magic of 'my presence fading his sorrows' is fading away.

P.S - I know RD, it’s not like this.. maybe I am thinking too hard. I just felt like sharing.

I love you

Missing you…

Every song reminds of you, the cold weather, the rain wants you to be here near me. The roses on the street, the couple on the road makes me wish you were here and we would walk hand in hand again.

My cute expression reminds me how you would react to it. ‘Baby do that once again, that was so cute'. When I don't feel like eating, I think how you used to force me to eat. Like a daddy you took care. Like a lifelong friend you are always here.

I need you. I miss you. I love you. <3 <3 <3 

I cant unlove you

Postcards and letters
And pictures made to last forever
To be boxed up and tossed away
Knickknacks and souvenirs
In an afternoon, they're out of here
They'll disappear without a trace
But what they mean to me
Can never be replaced

I can't unthink about you
I can't unfeel your touch
I can't unhear all the words
Unsay all the things
That used to mean so much
I wish I could unremember
Everything my heart's been through
I'm finding out it's impossible to do
Oh, it's no use
I can't unlove you
Intestates and old songs
Like time they go on and on
I guess I could learn to do the same
I could wake up without you
These two arms not around you
Tell myself it's meant to be this way
No matter how I try somethings I can't change

I can't unthink about you
I can't unfeel your touch
I can't unhear all the words
Unsay all the things
That used to mean so much
I wish I could unremember
Everything my heart's been through
I'm finding out it's impossible to do
Oh, oh
Oh, it's no use
I can't unlove you
I wish I could unremember
Everything my heart's been through
And finding out it's impossible to do
Oh, oh, it's no use
I can't unlove you

Song by Kenny Roger

click here to downlaod this song

	Kenny Rogers - I Can't Unlove You
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

The shitters met and High on a song

Yo Finally I met Peter.. aree Peter my shitter buddy. It was Fun. IT was a first time that I met a blogger friend.

We went to coffee day and then Afraa. Mast tha. Thank god it wasnt  Mads nahi toh Peter would have to go through a interview round with rating on body language, clothes he wore and blah blah. I saved u from that Peter, say thanks. Badly wanna meet all u bloggers. i wish there was a shitfortat union face to face . Kya Dhoom hoti.

I had LOng Island Ice tea. My head hurt after I reached home.. dhuuuu..

P.S. Litchi season back again. I m glad i am not in blore (we dont find seasonal litchis there) I m in calcutta so enjoying it to the maximum..

Did u bloogie toggie hear the song of Taylor Swift – Love story??? its amazing \:D/ I M High on the song. It pepes me up.. (click on love story to download the song.)

There is one more motivational song by Swift called I m Only Me when i m with u.. Click the side widget to listen to this song .

 

Lyrics of Love song

We were both young, when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts-
I'm standing there, on a balcony in summer air.
I see the lights; see the party, the ball gowns.
I see you make your way through the crowd-
You say hello, little did I know...
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles-
And my daddy said "stay away from Juliet"-
And I was crying on the staircase-
begging you, "Please don't go..."
And I said...
Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess,
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.
So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet, because we're dead if they knew-
So close your eyes... escape this town for a little while.
Oh, Oh.
Cause you were Romeo - I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "stay away from Juliet" -
but you were everything to me-
I was begging you, "Please don't go"
And I said...
Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes-
Romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.
Oh, Oh.
I got tired of waiting.
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading-
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said...
Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting, for you but you never come.
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think-
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said...
Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad -- go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby just say... yes.
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh.
'cause we were both young when I first saw you

 

P.S. Rd my Romeo missing u ..

PPS there is a rolling stone concert happening in Calcutta at my fav hangout place called Someplace else, Park hotel. on 30th may.. i wanna attend but got no company :(  :(

 

Next to me

When the clouds plays hide and seek,
when the moon stares and then passes slowly, 
I imagine you next to me.

When the cool breeze whispers,
when the leaves rustles, 
I feel you next to me.

when the emptiness fades,
when the closeness increases.
I know you here, next to me.

When the breathing gets faster,
when the heart beat goes up up up .
I know you are holding me.. (the goose bums says it all)

when you look into my eyes,
when you lock your fingers in mine.
When you say those magical words,
I believed, that you are always mine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.s. I love you so much, difficult to express but I tried my best

Weird Love

He loves her though he knows she is loved by someone else, her soul mate.

she loves him though she knows someone else loves her and that he is not her soul mate.

 

At times we don’t know what are we are heading to but we go on, life is short and we want to live every moment of it and make it memorable (but without hurting any one).

 

 

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