The Bus trip

I'm not much of a bus traveller but since today I’d to travel 20 km to visit my old doctor I’d to take a bus. I took a Volvo bus. It was a A.C. Bus which usually is a airport to-fro bus. No crowd, not even all seats were occupied, not much of stoppage and music inside the bus. While going to hospital the music was fine, the Hindi radio was on but during my return I'd tough time listening to old broken hearted songs and Kannada. Thankfully it wasn't as painful as it could be as I’d carried a handsfree and had my own radio to listen. Half of my journey I was tensed if I took the right bus.

I came cross some old lanes that I used to travel when I used to go to office. Old memories of this place always hunt me. It doesn't bring smile on my lips thinking of old times but the frown face and thoughtful gets stuck. I see those buildings, those roads and I see myself happy then, life full on. I feel like it wasn't three years back, it must have been my previous birth. Life changes so drastically but we move on. Some does it in no time and some takes time. I don't know when I'll come in terms with my life. I see a broken bridge between the two phases and I can't cross the other side again

Whats with Nidz??

Shifted to pg on 11th march and on the same day mom left for Nepal. I was worried about her as she never travelled alone. I was always with her. We both have travelled by air so many time cuz of our trip to B'lore for my surgery and other medical stuff.

For sure i didn't want to go back to Nepal as there is no physio therapy facility in my town. This time I choose to be back in B'lore cuz I’m planning to get back to work after I finish my exam on June 6th. Meanwhile I'll stay in a paying guest, do my physio, study for exam and meanwhile look for jobs and prepare myself for interviews. Now I see I got some plans. Some months back i was clueless when I was in Calcutta. Now I know what I've to do.
My pg is cool. It got late curfew line. Say like 11pm. It’s near to one of the best college in B'lore, so I always get to see good crowd. Not so bad food. I hardly can make out what sabji was for dinner. When south Indians make north Indian food, it has this south Indian flavour in it. Since Nav Ratra has begun I've turn veggie for nine days. I had to miss the egg curry yesterday :-(
My room mate is a punjabi first year student in arts from Jamshedpur and she has a BF who stays right opposite to our pg. So most of the time she is not in pg, she is out with her bf.
I've to travel 6km everyday to hospital for my physio. Doctors are kind of ok, let’s see whats more stored in.
Days just flies and during night I get busy killing bed bugs. Finally got my bed and mattress changed. Today instead of bugs I saw two tiny cockroaches on my wall. Killed them too... Katilana Nidz Lol.
Not following IPL instead I’m hooked up with FRIENDS and BOOKS.
B'lore doesn't have the same all rounder good weather these days. It’s freaking hot.
I miss Kolkata for its delicious food. Chai samosa, rolls, chats of vardan rd, Dinner n drinks with Rahul and Varun but nothing like ghee rice of Empire hotel in B’lore. I've to deal with cribby auto drivers everyday here. Sucks. Every place has its both good and bad thing stored. Its better i cherish the good side of it. I miss rd cuz of the places I've been with him here. I still have my college friends here to rock my life.
Some school friends are planning get together in Nepal during Dashera but I like to go home in Diwali let’s see.

What’s in my head is what I write

 

Dont feel like studying, dont feel like exercising the Spanish course. I don’t know what to do. I am just bored. Cutting down from internet, cutting down from online chatting. I feel I should spend some time being with myself. Some angers in me, some frustration doesn't seem to go. I guess I should wait till 11th March, change in place and people with make a difference.

Mom is counting days on her finger tips, she is so badly longing to go back home. 11th March and then she flies back home. This time she has to travel alone cuz every time I was there to accompany her. Adding to that its a break journey, she has to change her flight in Kolkata though its of same airline, Spice Jet. She has already lost the habit of travelling by train.

Finally I am going to wear All star shoes. I was planning to buy it yesterday, but cuz of my bad Holi-state I couldn’t go shop. All star have always been a “must have” on my list. Specially Nepalese  are crazy about Converse.

In college time it used to be the most comfortable things to wear cuz colour of shoes doesn't need to match up with what you are wearing. Of course you cant wear All Star on Kurtas, or with girlish tops but with jeans and normal Ts its the perfect wear.

I am back to my feet. I have started walking though the foot drop hasn't gone. I have to work really hard, which means exercise a lot  :-| how much I hate doing that.

Two months past in B’lore and I did nothing. I could have done  things but it didn't work but. I always like doing something productive, like I utilised ideal time learning something like dance, (I had join Salsa with RD before) doing some event and promotion work to earn extra bucks for pocket money and later went shopping and partied hard.

Can’t wait to go shopping. Some days back I tried my cousin’s sexy clothes (those were so MY kinda clothes). When i showed it to mom, she was like “ye bhi koi kapde  hai .. chii “ haha she doesn't like halter tops and short tops. So I have decided not to go shopping with mom but will go with my cousin.

Mom is carving so much to go for My name is khan. I know it is not a great watch but I am left with no option. My sister went to watch KCK and she hated the movie. She said, it’s not any thing new. many English movies are based on KCK. I didn’t know KCK is a thriller movie but i still want to watch it once for Farhan.

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Fun time

Holi was fun. I played with my college friend Monika and her friend Pankaj. This time I reached late. I was excited to see colourful faces when I was on my way to reach Lavel Road to meet my friends in front of Mocca.

We played for an hour. We were not allowed to sit inside Mocca cuz my friends were all soaked up. As I couldnt manage to stand for long time i sat on Monika's Activa.
Another friend of mine, Rehan was planning to join us. So were waited for an hour, meanwhile played more and more with colours, water balloons, ate all time fav. Tikki Puri (reminded me of college days), Kaccha Aam, Kachori.
Later Rehan Join us.Monika and her friend had to leave so Me and Rehan left as well.

It was amazing to have a bike ride again. This time I wasnt much scared. We barged in at Shally's Sisters flat. Sad her sis. had fever. still we managed to paint he face black and purple.
I wanted to have Bhang very badly ... but kahi nahi mila.
I returned back home and wished mom with Colours.
Holi wasn't that had as I thought it would be.

Holi haiii

Wishing you all a very Happy Holi.. I have planned to go out to play Holi with my college friends. It will be fun. There are some friends who stays forever. Don't know why some people leave.
Any ways I am missing home today though mom is here with me in Bangalore. It used to be fun playing Holi in terrace with all neighbors..
Missing u Minu, Dipti, Shweta Di, Ritesh, Sumit Bhaiya, Shilpa, Anu, Gitu and all my beloved neighbors.. Love u lot

Step by Step

Step by step

I will walk in ease

Step by step

I will dance in glee.

The day will come

when I turn back no more

The joy will come

and I will be sad no more.

The angels have been watching,

the dance floor have been waiting.

Here I come with new destiny

Step by Step

I will run to reach the check post

Step by step

And then Tip Tap Toe :)

Desire

When you have tears in your eyes
And you can’t cry..
When you have clear thoughts
But your mind still fights

When your heart is so heavy
And you have so much to share
When friends are many
But no shoulder to bare

When it’s a full moon night
And you still stare at stars
When the eyes are shut tight
And yet tears start to depart

Look within your soul
You’ll find the answer
That it’s not the world you fight
But your heart’s desire.

Spread your wings of passion
And to the heavens soar,
When you find what you seek
You shall cry no more.

 

Thanks Shaunak for helping me to end this poem. At times we start with something and we see no end to it. Thank God we have friends to make road of life interesting :)

Why shouldn't we care??

How it feels when suddenly you release that a part of your body does not move. You sleep sound and when you wake up you comprehend that you are not able to wake up.

It is scary. I pray to God none of us have to go through this.

Accident does weird stuff. In want to reach the destination by some minutes faster, we lose what it more important. Like good life, party, music, dance, friends’ etc; speed too has become our obsession. I feel speed reduces our decision making capacity. All we are concern is the destination. We forget that we have read in so many blogs and fwd messages that most of the time it’s not your fault. It can be somebody else’s fault. If you are driving in right lane carefully and in mean time some other vehicle comes and bangs your vehicle what can you do?

Accident is always unplanned. A shock, a blackout, to some it can be a moment to recall the torture throughout life. One more addition of new Phobia of Speed or Road or traffic.

I read Shaunak’s Post, brought back the pack of something that I have nightmare every night. One more sufferer added to the list.
Friends please pray for his recovery. Through my experience I know the greatest cure is through prayers and blessings.

Shaunak says :
My cousin's been in the ICU for the past eight days or so. MAJOR car accident. A truck rammed his car from the side. I don't remember the specifics, but multiple fractures, temporary coma, brain damage...it's bad.
When you know someone who's battling for his life, it kinda puts things into perspective. We weren't that close. Heck, we barely met. But I know the guy. He's family. And that's more than enough for his condition to be stuck in my head. He's finally started responding, but they say it's touch and go. No guarantees.

Please Pray.
To link with Shaunak’s Post click here

To be in love

I wasn’t sure if he could make it on Vday to be with me. Every time he makes plan something or the other comes up and plans goes in “hold” mode. But this time it was destiny. Two love birds can’t be away from each other for long. He reached B'lore on 13th night.

Vday hasn’t been relatively an important day for us. May be it is important for someone who wants to propose or someone who is new to love. For someone who is already in love, every day is Vday. You don’t need a reason to express love. You don’t need “this day – that day” to show how much that person means to you. First year of relation is always exciting when you get to know so much about the person, no money problem (everything gets arranged somehow or the other) friends are there to help with needy things. Actually people around us get more excited about this new relation. As relation goes through more time span, problems and long distances it gets more matured, more understanding and that moment comes when you become inseparable (one soul).

He asked me, “What do you like in me?” I replied, “There is no one who can understand me better than you, you are extra caring, you can’t see tears in my eyes, you accept me the way I am, you can tolerate me, my anger and you forgive me for all my mistakes, you the other part of me”. He asked another question “what If I stop being like that, will you leave me?” I answered “of course not because now you are not just a person in my life you become part of me and no matter how the other part is I have to deal with .My better half indeed.”

It was amazing to spend time together. Three days he was at my place, three days I saw him first thing when I woke up. I can’t tell you, it feels so amazing to lie down on his lap and when he keeps playing with my hair, recalling past moments, trying to get naughty but mom was there so I had to be in control but he was just irresistible.

He is in same train traveling back home and he says he misses me cause we once have been together in same train traveling together.

He brought me a beautiful necklace and a pair of ear rings. I didn’t know what to get for him. I somehow managed to get his bunch of roses. To be in love feels so great. It’s the most amazing thing.

Changing the sides of soul

If changing the sides of soul was so easy.

“Today I am dark and tomorrow I will be bright. For someone I am good and for someone I am really bad. For some time I am new me and ok for some time I can be old me.”

How can people change themselves so much now and then? It’s so difficult to cope with such changes. Some time I tell my brain, it’s time to switch off or else Nidz you will go mad, it’s no use to ponder over such things. But look at this stupid girl her heart is still Pondering.

Drunk with thoughts again...