Off to Banglore today with my Brother for 4- 5 days. M so excited :D

Hidden side

All of us have our past. It’s a chain of phases with lots of memories. At times we feel if we could live some more of it the way it was. At times we feel if could stay there and never come out of it. The college days, the job hour, the fun We'd with so many learning and so many cribbing. Once we part from this clouds that already finished raining and left no trace to follow back, the cribbing turns into smile and affection towards the same things.
At some part of life we like someone so dearly, we wish to gain the same attention back. We try hard at least to give a try. It works out for some time for everyone but then if it’s not meant it doesn't happen. Farewell is painful. But it’s the road to a new start. But what to do in this situation. . .?
All of us are not open to everyone. Some parts of us remain hidden. For some sharing his kiddo attitude could be mystery and for some one family matters are so personal and sensitive that he/she doesn't open up to everyone. There  might be so many hesitation to open up cuz once you do, what if things goes wrong and you turn up regretting that you once share the unexplored side of you.
This mysterious part of us is shared with someone especial. Someone whom you know will be worth it. Or won't be of any lost. Someone who will understand it, treasure it more than anything. Or with someone who will just be harmless to share with. We share with someone who is close like best friend, a girl friend or a boy friend, a good silent listener - harmless, a good advisor - 'tell me all about you’ type.  
We are lucky to find that person with who we can be ourselves but what if we lose them at one point of time? Remember if things that are not meant to work out for long term it won't. E.g. You broke up with your girl friend. She was the only one whom you shared your family problems. Next time when you call her, will not share your problem cuz she is no longer your girl friend or will you share your problem cuz you know she has been the one who understands you?

Messed up

Yesterday most of the time I slept. It was one of the day where i stayed back home for long time. No physio, no  tuition cuz I was fasting. Later  in evening i went to Krishna ji ka Mandir, It was nice. Missed time when I use to go in Blore Iskon temple with brothers, friends and RD.

flash back are Important Ingredients of life I swear.

Had asked my physio therapist to get me cd of “Hazaaron Khwaishen Aisi”. Done watching &75% and it’s still not over. Hindi Movies  ufff..Why on earth its so lengthy.

Next Day started again with a pissed off mood Cuz of the Lights on, curtain raised,  some sounds. Thanks To my room mate. I love them.

To add smile I found it was raining outside. Wow. I have to pay another 10 bucks xtra to the Taxi driver as i have to take Long turn or else Could have Walked . Good exercise too.

My charger got spoilt, waited for mom’s call to fix up date to go to B’lore. I hope dad understands and is ready to send me to B’Lore. I have to fix so many things. My passport has expired :((

I’ve to Complain about my Pan card in the police station as i have it. Actually i never received it. It got delivered when i was admitted in Hospital.

To renew my Passport I need a bank account in Kolkata which i don’t have. When i went to open a new account in Kolkata they said they need a ID proof. Sorry dude my passport has expired. Kaam khatam yahi per.. Bhaggu.  I miss u pls help me. so messed up.

I have exam In December for which i need my passport.  :((

Days like today

Today as it is Krishna Janmastmi, I am fasting. Strange thing for some People its today and some its tomorrow. We follow What is Follow by members of our House. My mom called me yesterday to remind that today is Janmastmi. Only once a year I fast is on Krishna JI ka Janam din. It started when I was in class 11. I used to like this guy RD and have asked Krishnaji to bless me with him. I fasted With all this hope for the first time. since then I have been fasting if I remember the day.

Best part is visiting Iskon temple. it used to be Fun with group of friends. I m planning to go today too, lets see if it works out.I Called RD mom to confirm what all can I eat. She said we can have Fruits as many times but without salt. Great, I dont even have Fruits in My refri. :(

So guys whats happening with you guys. Since I have moved my link I can see comments have reduced in my blog but it doesn’t matter. Since I have shifted to PG I have taken TaTa Photon connection. The speed is good. For downloading it goes till 1 MB too and even more than that. U know na I m download queen. Have downloaded a Movie called Definitely, may be; Its good.

These days Hooked up with Gossip Girl. Its awesome.

Things I should do everyday..

Listen to music, “relaxes me”

Read Novel “ I have three novel Pending to read “

Study  “ exams Coming up dude”

Play games – Mafia and farm Ville “ recently two games m stuck too when I open FB page. Gifting Expensive is fun too :P

talk talk and talk on phone :)  - favourite time pass.

Sad thing is the plan I have has limited data transfer. 2 gb from 7 to 11pm monthly and 11pm to 7 am. 10 GB. and its MONTHLY. Too less for Download Queen.

So I cant surf net in day time much but I can chat. At night my computer upgrades it self with Movies and music :)

I know Abhinav Piracy is crime but dude I m not earning. or u can gift me lol.

I have very disturb sleep these days. My room mate who is Bengali is so loud that she can’t talk softly when she is on call and nor she goes out of the room to talk. Not at all adjusting type. Since two day is have been waking up in a bad mood. :( :(

That’s it for Today. Let me hibernate Back to my thoughts.

You will hear soon form This drunkard! :) But of thoughts ;)

P.S. i finally go tto know the meaning to X.O.X.O its means Hugs and Kisses :)

It was great

I had awesome friendship day . had been to tuition and it was raining all the while. I was so tempted to bunk but i couldn’t. Sidhi sadhi bachi :D

Met a friend in coffee day, called up my Best friend in Nepal and asked her to come online. Chatted, saw her after long time on cam. It was so much fun. I msg all my good friends irrespective of 1rs per sms. :D

two of my friends wished me from who i actually wasnt expecting any sms or call and those didnt sms or call who i was expecting to wish me.

Neha got so emotional wishing me. She took me to the flash back of good times.

later at night me and Gaurav planned to hang around. we went to Shisha, the Disc in Kolkata. Finally after two yrs I went to disc. It was fun. Tried out two cocktail, Martini and Rude cosmopolitan (Tequila based). acted funny when i returned back to pg.

It was fun.

How was your day guys?? what did you do?

First time i didn't buy bands and didn't get also. M sure if I was in college iIwould surely get one. College mates are so cute. Missing u Shally, Divya, Fiona, Shazee, Monika, Poo Kiran. (yeah gals college ya). :P

What she was and what she becomes..

Read a post and made me think. had this in my mind for so long.

we  all should take out time of ourselves.
Some days back i asked my mom what does she like.. she was confused. I told her that she had been so busy in family that she doesn't have time for her own hobby.
she said she liked reading novels a lot. My grand dad and mom used to share novels and now she doesn’t read any more. Ghar ka kaam kaj se Furshad nahi,
Most of Indian women forget their own individuality and become nothing but just a house wife. a wife, a daughter in law, a mother and many more relation after marriage but nothing to herself. The same lady is someone else after marriage. I hope this never happens to me. I have so many hobbies. I love music, plantation, i love spending time online, games and so many more things. i hope I get time for all after marriage too. Actually it also depends in what kinda family you get into (like job environment). It’s difficult to take out time in join family. It even more difficult to neutral family as there are hardly any helping hands.

 

Post idea – from Tiger’s recent post

related post by tiger – click here

A new turn

So finally back to pg life. No relative and total freedom and independence. I always hated being with relatives. It always good to know people from different background and cast. As i entered i saw on huge gal who had a thought cloud saying, 'aa bache ab teri bari. Tujhe toh main kacha khajaungi' but then later when i shifted she was the one who was talking more to me than other gals and sounded polite. She is miss GURPREET, engaged, panjabi, Mba in finance, some diploma too and now seeking for job. Not a localite. Another young lady who was polite too with low pitch or voice, Payal, also engaged, on phone secretly in evening with her fiance, Bengali ( i realise they are so talkative and loud. Thank god she has low pitch so isn't a problem. Problem starts with my room mate. Who is a eco hons. And is a teacher, looks like 20 years old but its 27. Talkative and loud. Watches Bengali channel and isn't comfortable watching English. Some Indian finds it difficult to catch their accent. Even it was difficult for me in beginning but now i don't need subtitles. Worse thing about watching angregi movie is your need to be attentive to hear dialogs or you miss it easily unlike hindi movie jismain hum dhyan bhi nagi dete but still it our ears follow them or they follow our ears :-)
coming back to pg, my pg owner turned up to be panjabi. The broker had told me its Marwari pg. No prob. My dad is the happiest to know that a Panjabi lady cooks for us. Aji parathe banao, hame bhi khilao. Its been three days and food is good. Pg is more like independent flat. Let me introduced to the more excited member, her name is versha, she was in Mumbai but actually from Banaras. She is high over heel on a guy called David. Yo guys no luck. She is committee too. Where are all the single ladies gone? ? Versha is cute. Most of the time she is out of house. She is an employee. Leaves by nine, always late and comes back around 9, all happy and smile cuz she and her bf works in name co. Last night she bought a balloon and was so excited but sadly it burst in no time. I don't understand what connection gals and with balloons, and cute things. I too like cute things being a girl but m not too too girlie and kiddo. She has a heart shape toy whom she presses and it says I LOVE U. Guys know how to make there gf happy with all these kinda flowery gift. Rd too does it at times. So sweet. I love him for everything.
Its good being here untill now. I won't give much i won't expect much. I'll be slow is making friends and I'll keep mum when one room mates speaks of other. Being neutral doesn't cuz prob. Learning from mistakes works.
To be cont.
waiting for data card .. i have to buy. wait till i m back. I Miss u all.

Away

I wont be online or on blog for some days.

I am shifting to a paying guest today. Yes still in Calcutta.
So until i get a new connection miss me. If u have a USP to gift me u surely can! :P
Miss u bloggers. Once a while I will be coming online through GPRS. so good if our timing coincide :)
What will happen to Mafia?? I will miss Mafia in FB. I will FB. I will miss Blog and conferencing in yahoo and gtalk. :((
But then ;;) I will be back with a bang

They sang to me...

There are songs which when played remind us of someone who is connected to the song. Some past memories flashes back and brings smile and tears both at same time. Some song remind us some incident which make us feel like as if the song was made for us. There are songs for all reason and for season. That's why one of my best friend is music. We can listen to song according to our mood. Some songs peps our mood and get our life back to track. Lets talk about songs that is connected to our life.

Songs of hum dil de chuke sanam reminds me of RD cuz tat was the time when he proposed me.
Song, tere naina reminds me of Ayush, i'd challenge him to mug up the song and sing me in a week. He lost the bet.
Song duba duba, aur Durrr reminds me of my friend Sachin , i'd recorded his voice in my phone when he sang that, sad i lost that phone and so did the sound clip.
Song of Deewana album by Sonu Nigam song reminds me of Peter. He sang it to me through voice conference. :-) he was awesome. Waiting for him to rap sometime. Songs of Himesh Reshamiya reminds of Aakash he loved to song and made me fall in love with some songs too like Aksar,
some English hip hop songs reminds me of Shally. We used to party hard and dance hard.
Some songs reminds me of some people cuz of there long time caller tune.
Which songs brings back you memory of someone? Lets share. Lets talk about it.

My dairy – Moral of the story???

Had left house early when my flat mates disclosed what was in their mind. I went to the common room to comb my hair and i could see both my cousins in a little worried expression. I didn't have a direct eye contact but i saw in through the mirror. Since many days i had been disturb. Friendship wasn't working out. With me relationships has always been easy. I make good friends and they are happy i'm in their life. There are Ppl who were after my life to be friend. I remember my encounter with AKS. The first time he saw me he  knew that i should be his friend. I'd been avoiding him but his affection and caring nature left with no choice than being his friend. M so happy i chose to be his friend. He likes when i speak to him. His worries decreases cuz he knows m always there for him just a call away. I'd always been helping, caring and sweet person. My friends who are close to me says don't be so sweet and easy Ppl will hurt you, take advantage of you and turn you down,use you cuz you are so easy with everyone. You don't mind being hurt if other person is happy.
I'd been trying so hard to work out this friendship. But i think there are something which should be left when its in your hand. I tried, it didn't succeed. Why? For good? May be. . Its hard to digest how someone can have prob wit me.
Coming back to story with my cousins. They suggested me to move out of flat cuz there has been issue with food, no maid to cook and i dnt know much cooking. With what ever i know i always say i can give my helping hands.
I too noticed difference in behaviour. I smile they don't . I talk , they reply, they don't talk anything directly. Its better to stay alone than staying with someone who don't even make any conversation.
When she made the suggestion that its better i find the pg, i didn't react. There were lot of things in my head. She actually read my mind. Something pinched me. I got ready and left. I hadn't made my mind where would i go. I didn't have my lunch also. I'd tuition and 2 and it was 12.15. With no other option coming in my mind i  decided to go to tuition centre. I called my friend Niki. She didn't ans. She called me back in two mins and the min she spoke to me what happened i burst out in tears. I don't know why. We spoke about the issue. Attended class for two almost three hours. Last two hours what my teacher spoke i had no clue. All i did was write what he was dictating. Every thing sound so alien. I walked back to the lane to catch the taxi when  the tuition got over. I walked and i thought many things. I smile and same time i cried.  I couldn't find the guy who always accompanied me to walk down the lane. Today i walked alone. He caught my pace and walked with me and i saw him walking faster. I realised he wanted to smoke. I wanted to smoke too but it wasn't the right place. I just had a line conversation with him when i saw one of cousin nearing me. She asked if i was going home or somewhere else. I had no clue. Definitely I was hungry and i wanted to be alone rather than sitting with some with whom i don't have any conversation and just a weird feeling in heart. She is very caring, very sweet. On her i'd written a poem dedicated a post. Life was smooth when i wrote about a friend to be. But i guess some friendships and not meant to be.
I took a taxi sat, didn't wanted to go back to flat and sit alone in the deserted room. I went to mac d to eat. Made several call to enquire about pg and then bought a smoke to took a taxi back to flat. Half way. I ask the taxi to turn to crossword. I came here. I found peace. I'm writing this post rather than reading a novel that i laid my hand into its a book my ROBIN SHARMA who writes about who will cry when you die. The same author who wrote monk who sold his Ferrari. Read few pages later felt nice and came back to flat.

Aree yaar hota hai life main. sab ki din hote hain.. aaj mera kharab kal kisi aur ka. Life hai hi kamini.. Aish kar.. Dhan ta nan… ta nan ta nan.

ya fir gani chaniye. Goli mar bheje main. bheja shor karna hai. Dhicyaun :)