Step by Step

Step by step

I will walk in ease

Step by step

I will dance in glee.

The day will come

when I turn back no more

The joy will come

and I will be sad no more.

The angels have been watching,

the dance floor have been waiting.

Here I come with new destiny

Step by Step

I will run to reach the check post

Step by step

And then Tip Tap Toe :)

Desire

When you have tears in your eyes
And you can’t cry..
When you have clear thoughts
But your mind still fights

When your heart is so heavy
And you have so much to share
When friends are many
But no shoulder to bare

When it’s a full moon night
And you still stare at stars
When the eyes are shut tight
And yet tears start to depart

Look within your soul
You’ll find the answer
That it’s not the world you fight
But your heart’s desire.

Spread your wings of passion
And to the heavens soar,
When you find what you seek
You shall cry no more.

 

Thanks Shaunak for helping me to end this poem. At times we start with something and we see no end to it. Thank God we have friends to make road of life interesting :)

Why shouldn't we care??

How it feels when suddenly you release that a part of your body does not move. You sleep sound and when you wake up you comprehend that you are not able to wake up.

It is scary. I pray to God none of us have to go through this.

Accident does weird stuff. In want to reach the destination by some minutes faster, we lose what it more important. Like good life, party, music, dance, friends’ etc; speed too has become our obsession. I feel speed reduces our decision making capacity. All we are concern is the destination. We forget that we have read in so many blogs and fwd messages that most of the time it’s not your fault. It can be somebody else’s fault. If you are driving in right lane carefully and in mean time some other vehicle comes and bangs your vehicle what can you do?

Accident is always unplanned. A shock, a blackout, to some it can be a moment to recall the torture throughout life. One more addition of new Phobia of Speed or Road or traffic.

I read Shaunak’s Post, brought back the pack of something that I have nightmare every night. One more sufferer added to the list.
Friends please pray for his recovery. Through my experience I know the greatest cure is through prayers and blessings.

Shaunak says :
My cousin's been in the ICU for the past eight days or so. MAJOR car accident. A truck rammed his car from the side. I don't remember the specifics, but multiple fractures, temporary coma, brain damage...it's bad.
When you know someone who's battling for his life, it kinda puts things into perspective. We weren't that close. Heck, we barely met. But I know the guy. He's family. And that's more than enough for his condition to be stuck in my head. He's finally started responding, but they say it's touch and go. No guarantees.

Please Pray.
To link with Shaunak’s Post click here

To be in love

I wasn’t sure if he could make it on Vday to be with me. Every time he makes plan something or the other comes up and plans goes in “hold” mode. But this time it was destiny. Two love birds can’t be away from each other for long. He reached B'lore on 13th night.

Vday hasn’t been relatively an important day for us. May be it is important for someone who wants to propose or someone who is new to love. For someone who is already in love, every day is Vday. You don’t need a reason to express love. You don’t need “this day – that day” to show how much that person means to you. First year of relation is always exciting when you get to know so much about the person, no money problem (everything gets arranged somehow or the other) friends are there to help with needy things. Actually people around us get more excited about this new relation. As relation goes through more time span, problems and long distances it gets more matured, more understanding and that moment comes when you become inseparable (one soul).

He asked me, “What do you like in me?” I replied, “There is no one who can understand me better than you, you are extra caring, you can’t see tears in my eyes, you accept me the way I am, you can tolerate me, my anger and you forgive me for all my mistakes, you the other part of me”. He asked another question “what If I stop being like that, will you leave me?” I answered “of course not because now you are not just a person in my life you become part of me and no matter how the other part is I have to deal with .My better half indeed.”

It was amazing to spend time together. Three days he was at my place, three days I saw him first thing when I woke up. I can’t tell you, it feels so amazing to lie down on his lap and when he keeps playing with my hair, recalling past moments, trying to get naughty but mom was there so I had to be in control but he was just irresistible.

He is in same train traveling back home and he says he misses me cause we once have been together in same train traveling together.

He brought me a beautiful necklace and a pair of ear rings. I didn’t know what to get for him. I somehow managed to get his bunch of roses. To be in love feels so great. It’s the most amazing thing.

Changing the sides of soul

If changing the sides of soul was so easy.

“Today I am dark and tomorrow I will be bright. For someone I am good and for someone I am really bad. For some time I am new me and ok for some time I can be old me.”

How can people change themselves so much now and then? It’s so difficult to cope with such changes. Some time I tell my brain, it’s time to switch off or else Nidz you will go mad, it’s no use to ponder over such things. But look at this stupid girl her heart is still Pondering.

Drunk with thoughts again...

:(

I don't why Suddenly I am so scare.

Mom and bro are gone to look Pg for me. Since I am alone in flat, I have bad feelings. I felt equally scared when I sit for exam or hope to pass in job interview. I don't know why I am scared. Is it becuz I have to live my again alone with out my family?

I dont know why I just cried

Is it cuz my best friend didn't speak me to through out the day and it made me realise how would my life with out him. For sometime I felt my life is so vacant.

Is it because I am listening to a romantic song and missing RD and he is so not reachable.

or was it because two of my best friends are now going around. It just happened two days back and I am so happy for them. I missed my times of butterflies and now life is changed so much.

My lap top speakers too are screwed up. I don't know what went wrong. It sounds like fata huwa dhol.

Happy Birthday to me

Kal tak itni excitment nahi thi.. Per aaj hai ;) Thanks to Shitters for those funny Tweets and the rocking post.
Facebook is always fun and I am glad my buddies remember to wish me cuz of Facebook Birthday alarms. So a great thanks to Facebook and everyone who wished me. Your wishes are one which makes impossible possible :)

I got up late today morning, nothing new about it. Bad thing was I saw 20 Missed called :( which means I missed around 15 Wishes and my gift too. The delivery boy couldnt not locate the address and he delivered to wrong house and left it seems :|
I have to track him now.

Nothing Special planned for today. I have Physio at 4. have called some friends on Friday for Sleep over.

Bro got wine and cake for last night B'day celebration. I didnt know about the wine, so as usual I had my milk on time and later realised that the Port-wine was waiting to be sipped :|
Koi nahi aaj pilenge ya fir kal with friends.

Birthday cake Posing with Mon n Bro :)


Thanks every one for making my Birthday so special <3

Words of Encouragement

The road of to healing is long
the process if very slow
how far to get over there
is something you don’t know

but one thing for sure, learn on your own
how to fight and grow and get strong
you see people for what they are
and know who are true and those who are scarce

the ones you thought close are the ones who turn their back
and ones you didn’t think to be there are the ones holding you up
things have gone bad but sometimes the hard way is how you learn
it doesn’t have to be your past that brought this upon you
might just be a way to show you never to take things for granted

past is past no use dwelling on what’s gone
future is what you can make of what is lost
all is in your hand you have to choose your way
coz memories are what you make of them
and you can make new one each day

bad things happen to all
and sometimes you don’t deserve it
but think of it as a way of GOD
and this is to test how you serve him
help yourself and he will be your guide
but if only you stay to curse him and you’ll feel empty inside

nothing I do can change what has happened
only words of encouragement I can give to help you go on
you have gotten this far and it’s amazing in every way
I just pray to god that he helps you get by each day
and help you to regain your strength and see the positive side
and stand back on your feet and be on your way..

Thanks Fee for such a wonderful write up. You truly know what I am going through, you understand what’s suffering and always there by my side to encourage me. Thanks so much, Abhinav your comments were some surprising lines. For people who didn't comment on my previous post- I know u love me, I am your sweet addiction.. simply irresistible.

Life gets busy and so we also get so much involved with daily work that we dont have time to keep up with other things (probably less interesting and below the priority list)

Still you can always find me here.

XOXO

Escape..

Please do not go ahead if u dont want to read something that can be heavy for you

Cuz this post might change the direction of U to inverted U on your face. Later Dont blame me that I didn’t alert.

These are the thoughts that I have every now and then and probably comes in my mind more often maybe cause I have to visit the same place again and again and go through what I went through already in my past.

Why are memories so fresh?
Why can't I sleep without thinking of all those sudden twists in my life?
What if I knew what was going to happen,
What difference would it have made?

Why can't I forget what’s gone
Why do I treasure that's not worth a recall?
What if those angels were not there?
How would I be back on the track?

Why do I think so hard what would they have done for that ten hours of operation
Who would be outside the OPD, waiting long, filling forms, checking for updates.
I can't help thinking of those teary eyes and joint hands of my parents in prayers.
My sister in far away land, waiting for phone calls and praying to god.

Those nurses who took care of me day and night.
Those other scary patients in ICU who would anytime die.
Why did I deserve all this?
What wrong had I done in my past life

P.S. Right now all is fine. No need to convince me in any thing.. I m happy, I m fine.

So many things to say..

Finally i got songs of My name is Khan, Karthik calling karthik and Ishqiya On my Itune :D

I

I wonder why is it KartHik? Another Southie name?? Shouldn’t it be Kartik (rolling eyes)

Ok as for updates all of you must be already knowing that I had a surgery some days back. If not you should know about Dear Me. Click here for details.

Thank God I am discharged from the hospital. Karti bhi kya waha, No handsome Doctor, Not even Pretty Nurse to eye on :-w (Jumps, Ouch I forgot I am not suppose to Jump :P)

Hospital food was so bad that my mom preferred eating Lays and Goodday Biscuits for lunch .

One fine Morning the sister came to gimme sponge bath, I requested her to gimme head bath too as I can;t stand oily hair. She had great difficulty giving me head bath, still she should be thankful cause as a patient I was so corporative. So damn corporative that at the end she poured one cold mug water on my hair and I screamed at her.

I am good at it. Ask me to call a person to take his/her class .. You see How I do :P

I finally blocked Farmville from FB (yes yes I used to play that but I m saturated)

And Don Mangal (Mafia) is dead too .. She is now become a zoo keeper :P (another game in FB)

I tried playing scrabble in FB but got bored cause in two player the other player takes too much time to respond.

I like UNO :P

I tried learning Poker too but I think Flash is interesting. 

Good time pass for some1 wella like me.

I am glad Chriz Wrote about Red Undie again :P I love Red Undies :P

He’s on the house gyaan says, we should wash our Undie nahi toh Dogs will compel you to buy new one. Why to waste money in buying a new one, rather lets wash it on time and save money and party :P Ek beer to bantahai. Cheers.

I feel bad that I forgot my Spanish nootbook back in Nepal :( I could have resume my class other wise.

Since B’lore is warm as usual my mom has been telling everyone on phone when she has conversation to someone in Nepal or Calcutta or Siliguri “yaha toh thand ekdum nahi hai, ekdum acha hai mausam”.

Ah I think I should come to B’lore every winter as I hate Winters.

The doctor in Hospital said that he had 10 cases of road accidents of people going or coming back from Nandi hill every month. I was astonished and so was mom. People know it’s Risky to ride in hill station when it is so God damn foggy, but still they don’t listen.

My hands still pains Cause of Injection. Thank God I am on tablets now :)

The doctor was highly satisfied with my operation. I hope to get well soon and dance Tip Tap Toe.. We’ll Party okie ??

Read further about How to know if a guy is cheating On Shit-For-Tat

Mads completed her Hundred Post!!!! Congrates.. Posto Nahao . Posto Falo ::P