Back again

The reason I started blogging was to comfort my mind. I was going through a tough phase and there were none who could understand me what exactly I was going through. Finally I found a way out, strangely blogging helped. I was happy to see comments and realised people somewhere, though they don’t know me, still understood me far better than people around me. What could be the reasons?

Any ways you might have noticed that the frequency of my blog post has tremendously gone down in past few months. One reason is I am married and I don’t have much easeful time to write down anything. Past few days I have been so busy with home responsibilities. Life is not that easy after marriage but soon I hope I will find a comfortable corner and time.

Another reason is RD(my husband) is always there to listen to me. He has become my immediate shoulder to lay on. So I happen to share all my feelings with him so I am back to normal me and I don’t feel like blogging it out.

There were few of my posts which were romantic and of past memories. Well I am not much into much romantic imagineation now as I am already living my dreams and yes I have been missing past more than any other times specially my mother.

Today I am glad I could  finally write down something. I hope I will visit this space more often. Miss you all my blogger friends. Ab dimag shayad kaam karega ;) lol

After all CHANGE is the only thing that is constant

There are things that we deal with every day and when we read an article, blog post or even listen to what others are saying, we relate it to the things we deal with in our life. 

Like Peter (a co blog friend) said, first of all you have to be READY for change, and be willing to go along with whatever comes your way. It made me think of my present situation. I never knew marriage would mean so many changes and that daily routine change to such an extent, that you become a completely different person. These changes may not be seen 100% in behaviour but yes nearly 100% in tasks. I have begun to understand that I was not totally ready to accept the changes that would come with marriage. 

There are things I get to hear which I have never heard. There are some customs which are not followed at my father’s house but now I am left with no option but to follow it. I ask myself, “Why should I follow such weird traditions which don’t make sense to me.” These thoughts of mine hurt me and others as well. I am hurt thinking why strange cultures are thrown at me and I am asked to blindly accept it. On the other hand my family is hurt when I ask them if it is necessary to accept such senseless customs. I get a feeling that they might think what kind of abnormal daughter in law (DIL) I am who asks so many questions and who has issues with everything. 

Before DIL had to follow everything told to them without a question but now things have changed. Ladies are no more scared to question for knowledge and In-laws are no more shocked to see their DIL wanting to know so much. 

Every family has different traditions. Like how parents nurture their child from childhood, teach them values and norms, in the same way it’s their duty to nurture and teach their DIL the exact same things in the same way. Conflicting thoughts cross a girls mind when she compares her mother’s house customs and her husband’s house’s customs. When a person has been doing things in a certain way and has to change their pattern, they face some difficulties in the beginning. 

When I spoke to my husband about this, he supported me completely but he also asked if I can accept certain rules which don’t make sense to me but makes sense to my in-laws just for their happiness. Not following things would not make me sad, but if it can make at them happy then why shouldn't I just blindly follow it for their happiness? My answer to that was - when my heart is not ready to accept some things I cannot do it, no matter for whom. I know it is bizarre to see me so stubborn but I think first I should be “ready” to accept and then only I can accept. 

From day one of my marriage, hundred things are thrown at me to follow, let me choose seventy five of them to follow and twenty five not to. Why should I follow everything when my heart is not ready? May be at some point in time I will understand things and then I will be ready for the changes. 

Yesterday we had “khichdi” for dinner. I being a lover of “khichdi ka Roti” asked my mother in law if the dough can last till next morning so that I could have the same menu for my breakfast too. She replied that, they don’t keep leftover dough for next morning. I asked my Mother in law (MIL) if this was some kind of custom of the family or that our grandmother does not allow. She said that she doesn't know the answer to it because she had been following this since she got married (In those time they were not allow to question anything to anyone). After hearing all this I felt I am blessed to have a MIL who is so frank with me and with whom I can tell and share anything. 

Yes, accepting new things take time and it can only be accepted when I am ready to accept change in my life. It is not necessary that just because I have completed six months of my marriage I should by now get well adjusted to all these norms. It can take a lifetime to adjust, after all life is all about making compromises. 

Not able to decide

What is Mrs. Dhanawat up to these days? Well she is still trying to come out of the shock that she is married and has completed six months of togetherness with Mr. Dhanawat. Phew, did I say six months? Damn it feels so old already.

It’s difficult to pass time here in Nepal, as I stay in a small town called Biratnagar. I had made it pretty clear to my husband that I didn’t want to be a home maker and that I would prefer to spend my time working professionally else what’s the point of me being a graduate. Thankfully my in laws are pretty cool with the idea of me working. Besides, we already have a cook so I’m not needed in the kitchen. I thought I should make a better fit of myself. 

Trying a new business seems like a great idea but the only thing which comes to mind is “will it survive?” ,considering  the purchasing power of people is low and adding to that they have a very weird mentality.  It is funny how for a particular goods or services people are ready to go out and spend but if same thing is made available in the city they are not ready to spend even a dime.

Initially I thought about business in imported fruits. Kathmandu is a good supplier of imported fruits and it gets its goods from China, India, and Thailand etc and has a good market as people are ready to buy expensive fruits. Tourists also do not hesitate to buy such products but when it comes to Biratnagar it is a different story. Who will buy such expensive fruits? I don’t think a market of imported fruits would survive here as the number of tourists visiting this town is very low.

I thought about designing wedding cards.  Wedding card is a need for every family. Residents of Biratnagar specially go to Kolkata to buy their wedding material which includes card purchase as well. Another spot for such shopping is Siliguri. Why not I design the card and people can buy from me if they are getting similar stuff in similar price range?

What do you think about this idea??

Sleepless

It was one of those nights when I couldn't fall asleep.  From the frozen leg to the terrible head aches, reasons were adding up to my sleepless night which made things more difficult.  Only if he could have been home I would sleep in peace. The silence of the night, the water dropping sound from the tap and the ticking sound from the wall clock were adding to mess around with my mood. 

It was late, eleven at night and no sign of sleep but only increasing ache in my head. To idle away the time I decided to call a friend.  I spoke to him for couple of minutes and hung up.  People in Nepal sleep so early that I couldn't think of any other single soul to whom I could talk at such point of time. Tossing and turning in bed, I frisked for my laptop so that I could spend some more time chatting around but then I realised my laptop was gone.

It was one at night and I wanted to call my best friend. Being married I gave a second thought if it was alright to call a guy who is my best friend at such point of time. Marriage does weird thing, makes you matured and makes you act stupid too. Though my husband is very understanding and he understands how close I am with my friends no matter boy or girl, still the second thought emerged my mind and I decided to hang up when I heard a knock at the door.

“Who is it?” I asked. It was him.

In his memories

Old memories of ours,
flickers again and again.
A day so sweet, a day so sour,
in your memories now and then.

Tears play hide and seek
but I try not to think.
Everything come forth like it just happened 

moments is slipping, nothing again.

Eyes related problems

Eye alignment problem, aisa bhi hota hai kya? Weird! I had constant headache for past one week and I finally decided to see an eye specialist when I was in Kolkata. Just two tests and they declared that I have some eye alignment problem and this can be fixed with particular set of eye exercises. The only side effect of this is head ache and nothing else.  This was something new to me. Eye alignment problem?? Bipasa Basu huh?? Lol.

I immediately asked my husband to find out with the doctors in my town (Biratnagar, Nepal) if they have such exercise facilities and to my utmost surprise they do. It’s been two sittings and after each session I have a heavy head and eyes ache  too. I still have to go through minimum of 16 sittings. Duh, what a pain.

Video related to assessment of eye alignment

When I asked the Doctor the reason behind my dry eyes, he answered that I had big eyes and the moisture of eyes evaporates easily. People with big eyes have more problems than small eyes. Though he is a well renowned Doctor in Kolkata, his answers to my questions left me incredulous. Dry eyes have no healing except to use artificial tear drops called “Refresh Tears” every day which make your eyes less dry. For me, it started with a severe conjunctivitis which stayed for a month and then the problem went on.

For more details to know what the hell dry eyes is, click here.

Finally Oranges and Ra.Two thing..

I was about to write about oranges in the sun but then I ended up having sneak peak in Neha’s blog who writes her review on Chetan Bhagat’s new novel “Revolution 2020”.  I am a slow reader. When I sit down to read something I do everything but reading. Checking sms, FB, chatting in messenger is big time distraction.

Coming back to Oranges, o what a feeling it is to eat oranges after waiting for winter so long. Sign of fog but yet the sun rays, sitting beside the window and eating oranges with my favourite person in home, my mother in law. Trying different way of eating oranges so that the tongue can twist and feel the awesomeness of the juice and pulp. yummm.

Ra.two -- I never thought Ra-one would be so boring movie. I read about the review on Ra.one before I went to watch the movie. My mother in law was damn excited to watch this movie. We reached the shopping mall at 10:30 and as per the mall’s timing, shops open only at sharp 11:00 AM. We were highly bored so bought ourselves two tickets of Ra.One in Gold class. Though the movie was boring we enjoyed the Gold class feel. Nicely yawned, slept and dreamt.

Sad thing was I had to watch the movie twice. My husband needed a company as there was a show covered my Round table (something like Rotary Club). I couldn’t say him no but somehow managed to be there for 2hrs 35 mins.

After all anything for love.

Diwali Prep and Dandiya night

I went out with my husband to attend a friend's birthday party. It was fun dining eight friends together followed by water and beer fight :)
Today we have plan to attend Dandiya function in evening. I hate dressing up for such occasion but still I am looking forward to this gathering.
Oh yes I finally resumed gyming with RD with time. It feels great working out.  I will also be learning swimming soon.
After praying for so long finally it is raining today. Rain simply adds smile on my face. I feel like having nice coffee.
Current status : 1, 2, 3 Check-
a) Oiled my hair with coconut hair (missed mom as she always use to oil my hair)
b) Applied Aloe vera (wo bhi Ramdev baba ka, lol...) in my face.
Saturday always feels like self pampering. Bubble bath in tub, followed by home made hair treatment, facial adding some nice movies with my husband.
My mother in law made pan cake. Thought it didn't come out how I know what pan cake looks like, it was still very nice of her to make pan cake for me for the first time. I know it is not fair, instead I should be cooking for her. That time will also come soon ;
My sister is law will be joining us for Diwali so planning for nice Rangoli this time. Though I am very bad in art, I will be helping her to fill the outlines with colours.
Apart from normal Diyas, candles and firecrackers if you guys have some other Diwali decoration ideas please share with me.
Oh yes RD's Bday is nearing. Its on 23rd September. I am still not able to come up with good idea to surprise him. Please help me.

The Unforgetful Party

The Journey to getting married was just awesome. Our bachelor party, every small functions and the Sangeet dance with Rohit in our favorite song Aankhon ki gunkhaiyaan..

Read it out for more details of what all happened.

The Cocktail party (aka Bachelor party) was just awesome. I was dressed up in red tube dress which I luckily found while shopping for something else. Nikita and Gitu my childhood friends along with my cousin sisters Dipti and Minu were with me, all set to hit dance floor. First I was shy of what I was wearing (as Rohit’s Cousin had to join us) but as soon I saw RD my whole surrounding was blurred.  All I knew by his gaze was that I looked beautiful. His fixed eyes on me made me feel that I did not need to bother who would see me and  how.

The dance floor was on the top most floor of a mall in Siliguri and the lift to the all the floors are located in the middle of the mall. It was embarrassing for us to reach the lift in front of the crowd but we managed somehow. There was a special number- “Wo peheli baar, jab hum mile” played for me and RD to dance in center of the dance floor. The dance was sexy and enjoyable because we both we high.  Half of the time we were busy spinning round and round holding hands (like how the camera moves in all direction in Hindi serial). We couldn’t help kissing in front of our friends and we didn’t bother either. It would be one of the best dances I ever had. At the end of party everyone was so badly drunk. The puking scene disgusted the floor and whoever stood to walk on their clumsy legs fell down on puke. It would be my memory stored in pages of my life time experience. We still talk about it and laugh.

Everyone was so badly drunk that none could remember how many times each of them fell down and how and who got hurt.

Next morning when I got up and checked myself out in the mirror I was surprised to see big boil on my head. We all laughed about it though I was little worried because Sangeet was on the same day,  a day before the big day the bride has a big boil on her head :P

Fasting...

Today is my first fasting after marriage. I am not much a true believer of fasting but then I fast for Krishna Janmastmi every year. I started fasting for Krishna Janmastmi when I was in class 11 and I wanted Lord Krishna to make my love story a success. Since then every year for RD I fast and worship Lord Krishna to bless me so that I could be his(RD's) soul-mate.

Today I fasted for Chana Chatt. It is something like Karwa Chaut. In this we are allowed to eat proper meal once at 4 in the morning and eat fruits or drink milk, juice, tea throughout the day.

My mother in law is damn caring. She called me at 4 in the morning to remind to have my breakfast. I don’t know how the day will pass because last fasting of Krishna Janmastmi was terrible. I felt sick for 10 days. I guess it was because of food poisoning.

I hope today won't be that difficult.